Kirstie Allsopp has once again ignited a firestorm of debate with her latest parenting confession. As a mum of three — including two teenage boys — I’m convinced she’s setting an example we could all learn from.
This time, Kirstie revealed that she allowed her 15-year-old son to embark on a three-week journey across Europe with a 16-year-old friend, unsupervised by adults. Predictably, the internet erupted, with many criticising the presenter for her parenting style, saying it amounts to an irresponsible decision, and that 15 is far too young for such an adventure without adult supervision. And yet we know that letting teenagers take positive risks is something that experts actively encourage.
So when I first heard Kirstie discussing this on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I was impressed by her stance; on the other, I couldn’t shake the ‘but what if…’ thoughts from racing through my mind. “He’s a very sensible young man,” she said. “He’s never been in trouble at school, so when he said he wanted to do this I thought: ‘Right, OK, good on you.’”
As a mother of three, with two sons aged 17 and 19, Kirstie’s words struck a chord with me. Part of me yearns to see my boys spread their wings and dive headfirst into the world. After all, isn’t it our job as parents to raise resilient kids and isn’t nurturing their independence an important part of that?
When my eldest was 15, we were in the throes of a global pandemic. The idea of him exploring the world was not just far-fetched—it felt utterly impossible. But if he had come to me then, eager to explore Europe without me, I’m sure I’d have been horrified. There’s just so much that could go wrong, from missed flights and getting lost to the stomach-churning dangers that dominate the headlines.
But listening to Kirstie explain her rationale for encouraging her son’s independence, I felt inspired. Isn’t good parenting about balancing our fears against our children’s need to explore?
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Good for Kirstie. Holding our children back is never a good decision. Yes, it’s tempting to wrap them in cotton wool and keep them safe in the nest for as long as possible. But is that really what’s best for a teenager with a thirst for adventure?
Of course, much of this debate hinges on the maturity of the teen in question. Not every 15-year-old is ready for such a responsibility, just as not every parent is prepared to let them go. But imagine the confidence a 15-year-old boy must feel knowing that his parent trusts and believes in him to such an extent. Isn’t there something wonderfully empowering in that, in this day and age?
I’m sure Kirstie didn’t take this decision lightly. I can only imagine the many conversations they must have had about staying safe, keeping in touch, and handling emergencies.
So, instead of criticising her, maybe we should applaud Kirstie for striking a bold balance between encouraging her son’s adventurous spirit and managing her own anxieties.
Would I have agreed to let my child travel around Europe at 15? Probably not. But Kirstie has made me reconsider what good parenting looks like when our teens tell us they are ready to explore the world without us. Perhaps our job is to help them pack and cheer them on, not wrap them in cotton wool and hold them back.
For more thoughtful content on raising teens, read 18 things I know on my son’s 18th birthday or Why I hate the 18 summers guilt-trippy meme. And for practical advice on preparing teens for travel, check out 7 conversations to have with your teen before their first parent-free holiday.
